Cross-o-phobia: Travails of a 'road-crosser'

Deep down inside...all of us have certain weird phobias.(jus that some of us have more weird ones than others!)No I'm not scared of cockroaches or lizards...(as a kid I loved holding a cockroach upside down with its antennae and scaring others!)I have a 'weirder' phobia...I'm scared of crossing roads...!so much so that everytime I cross a road I think of what my 'last words' would be if I didn't manage to get to the other side!(Afterall,most famous people die with famous last words...so why shouldn't I!)So there I go ...crossing tens of roads everyday and making up tens of 'last words' before I cross those tens of roads!It takes a great deal of courage to face what you fear the most everyday (yay! Am a brave gal!)...but you might ask what's the big deal in crossing a road ( I mean...after all its jus a road!) But ofcourse if it was jus another road,I wouldn't mind it much.What really scares the hell outta me is that everytime I see traffic on the road I keep imagining that I'm gonna get sandwiched between two humongous buses! (literally sandwiched) That picture flashes in my mind (with MI2 music playing in the background...don't ask me why!)everytime I'm about to cross a road.
I have done a detailed research on this subject and I came to the conclusion that people in general can be grouped into the following categories based on their styles of road-crossing
1) These are the traditional ones.They have learnt their lessons well in school and they apply what they have learnt...i.e,they look left,then right then left and then cross when the coast is clear.
2) People belonging to this category believe that they own the roads.They cross whenever,wherever they feel like regardless of traffic signals or the vehicles.They believe "All world's a stage...and their act is to cross roads at free will!"
3)These are "follow the leader" types.They lie in wait for their prey(i.e the leader!) and watch who's gonna cross the road and then they follow their "leader".
4)I belong to this last set.Eternally scared.Keep looking left-right-left-right-left ...until a friend who's probably already crossed the road gets tired of looking at me turn my head L-R-L-R-L (as if I was watching a tennis match!) comes back to the other side and takes my hand and takes me to the other side in a jiffy as if this arduous task of road-crossing was a piece of cake !

But then ofcourse,people cannot be strictly grouped into the 4 categories above.There are gray areas.Sometimes people who are generally careful tend to get careless (could be cos they are late for work,a date...various reasons!)But I believe in "better safe than sorry".So I just go on waiting and waiting...he he...
(But then that reminds me "ships are safe in the harbour...but thats not what ships are meant for!"On similar lines..."people are safe on one side of the road...but thats not what people are meant for...they are born to cross roads?!")
Someday I hope to belong to the 1st category ...
But before that ...
I have promises to keep
And tens of roads to cross before I sleep,
And tens of roads to cross before I sleep.

P.S Why did the chicken cross the road? (Atleast it wasn't scared of the traffic like me!)
And by the way,fear of crossing roads is called 'Dromophobia'

Lasting impressions...

First impression is the last impression...or so they say and so I believed.But so often it has happened that first impressions have been such wrong impressions.
Two of my best friends-I had judged them to be snobs even before I knew them.The more I got to know them,the more I grew to love them.I couldn't believe these were the same people I had considered too haughty to even talk to.(My sincere apologies to both of you!)
Another friend of mine judged me unfit for his attention and even bitched about me with another friend of his (It is a different issue altogether that he and I are best of friends now and he and his bitch pal are no longer on talking terms!)
Another instance would be one of my classmates who I thought considered the rest of the class to be lesser mortals (esp the girls!!).He didn't as much as give us a glance or even acknowledge our presence.It is a wonder that we sat in the same class for 2 years and never had a word to say to one another.It is an even greater wonder that we both do have quite a few interesting conversations these days.
Sometimes its the other way round.We get along extremely well with someone but then a small misunderstanding ,a tiff and all is lost.You begin to wonder how things went so wrong so suddenly.
Or sometimes,people just drift apart for no reason at all.I guess they just find their calling and move on...and one must gracefully accept the change.It hurts but as my sis says "this too shall pass" .
So I do believe that "We always create images and perceptions about people and then try to make them prisoners of those images … " I hate to admit that I have done that.(And I'm sure if all of you who are reading this do a bit of introspection would agree with me too.)
Its high time I grow up and stop presuming things about people and let them just "be" themseleves...

P.S All names have been kept confidential intentionally lest I am found unfit to post anything further (which ofcourse would be a great loss for my ardent readers!)

JUDGEMENT DAY

Placements- a word at the back of every final year student's mind .3 yrs of engineering can sometimes stultify the mind and placements come as a great source of hope (of redemption!!!) As soon as the 6th semester exams got over, I made a solemn promise to myself that I would start working for the aptitude tests and interviews after a week of relaxation. One week passed, and then two and then three and one fine day it dawned on me that there were only 7 more days to go for the placements! I spent the next 3 days lamenting over spilt milk and relating my plight to anyone who would be sympathetic enough to lend me a ear (most of the times, my parents were the scapegoats…no one else had that much of patience!) After all "promises are meant to be broken" - Or so I consoled myself! With four days in hand, I chalked out a list of things I needed to do on colorful little post-it notes and pasted them all over my room - glaring reminders of my lazy disposition! I set to work on my aptitude, stuff like time and distance (do the Indian railways take this into account?!...Am sure they don’t, otherwise we wouldn't have so many accidents!), time and work (who'll know this better than me...I realized that I get more work done in lesser time which goes against the basic principles of time and work!). After working out one or two old question papers as well as a few puzzles with a friend, not only did I manage to get tensed but I got her totally terrified too (we felt that our lives were a big question mark and we first needed to solve this puzzle called ‘life’!) And we decided not to look at them again lest we end up becoming schizophrenics (am not sure if its spelt that way...I have been working on my vocab too!) Next was the big task of preparing my resume! Never thought writing about oneself could be this tough! Setting out to write the career objective I realized I lacked clarity and had no specific goals in life. Point blank-I was aimless. I spent an entire day thinking about what I wanted to do in life and did a SWOT analysis (For those of you who don’t know what that means…its Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats). I must say this really helped me in the HR interview ‘cos knowing oneself better makes one more confident’. I spent another day honing my not-so-good technical skills and making up my mind about which subject I hated the least so that I could jot it down as my so-called ‘area of interest’. Next was the most difficult task- making myself look smart at least for the D-day! I give all credit for that to my sis who picked out what I should wear. This is in fact very important ‘cos when you look good, you feel great! I also went to landmark and picked up a good display book for my certificates. In spite of all the prep, there were butterflies in my stomach the previous evening and my friend (who was sweet enough to help me do the last min prep) had a very tough time allaying my worst fears! Before going to bed that night, my prayers went on for longer than usual. On D-Day, I decided to be calm and composed. I felt great when I cleared the aptitude. My interview had been a stress interview and no matter what I said the interviewer would say he didn't agree with me or that I lacked clarity in what I said! But I remember I never felt tensed or scared for a minute! It was like a friendly discussion. In the end when I asked him what he was looking for in a candidate, he gave me a very mischievous grin and said just one word-"clarity”. I decided that I was doomed and felt as if my worst fears had come true! I began to think of alternative career options…maybe I could work out more time and distance problems and work under our honorable Railway minister (I’ve been a great fan of his for a long time now!), or maybe I could write a thesis on how the entire principle behind time and work is incorrect! It was a weird experience huddling around with friends at sunset in the boys hostel (which is normally out of bounds for the girls much like the forbidden forest for Hogwarts students). We were sharing our interview experiences-Each worse than the other! We lent each other a shoulder to cry on (while feeding the dogs around the hostel with tit-bits…poor creatures are thinner than kids from Somalia!). I observed that hunger and exhaustion make people behave very weirdly! And after much waiting, the time had finally come for announcement of results! The list went on and on. And with each name my hands started sweating more than before. Then suddenly I heard something that sounded vaguely familiar (hunger makes me suffer from sudden bouts of amnesia!) And suddenly all around me I found people shaking my hands and patting my back…guess God answered my prayers! One last word-Visualization really helps. Every night before the interview I visualized myself doing well. I guess this is what they mean by the power of the sub-conscious mind. I realized that after all the preparation; it pays to stay calm and confident on the D-day. Remember interview is not an ‘interrogation’...it's a ‘conversation’.

(P.S This was the article I wrote for my college magazine)

Mirror mirror on the wall...who's the fairest of us all?

Scene 1:

A girl just out of college is running from pillar to post looking for a job.She's rejected at every place she tries her luck.What does she do then?She turns to her Miss know-it-all friend who gifts her with a fairness cream as the key to all her problems.She uses it for 4 weeks and you know what happens next...She's loaded with offers for work!

Scene 2:

Arranged marriage scene.Guy's family visit the girl's family.They leave in a huff 'cos they find out that the girl is dusky and not the fair doll that they thought she'd be.Girl tries one of those fairness creams for 4 weeks.And lo behold...!The same family welcomes her as a bride
with open arms!

I thought it was skills that we possessed that got us our jobs.Maybe I was mistaken.
I thought marriage meant union of two compatible people.Maybe I was mistaken.

By now,you've got a 'fair' idea of what I'm heading into next.What exactly are these advertisements trying to portray to the masses?
-That the color of the skin counts and not your inner self?
-That a girl can't get herself a job and a groom if she's not fair?

And why do these well-educated popular film stars agree to endorse these brands?
Don't they hold a higher social responsibility of not misleading the masses?
Why do they want to lure innocent girls into this vicious arena where all that matters is how you look?
I don't see why it is wrong if one has a darker skin color.Don't we have dusky beauties all around us who are as successful as their fairer counterparts?
Moreover,why do these advertisements attack the female masses?
What they are trying to show is that a guy can get a job or a bride no matter what his skin color is...?Why can't the same rule apply to girls?Male chauvinism at its worst...!

We have endured such meaningless advertisements for long enough.I think its high time we have a board review the advertisments to ensure that the right message gets across to the masses.Let us join hands and raise our voices and condemn such advertisements which are in a way promoting racism of a different kind.

(P.S. They have a fairness cream for guys too these days!)

Homesick or sick of home?

I don't know about all of you,but I've been a complete brat as a kid.To give you a few examples:-neither would I polish my shoes for school nor would I bother to put my school uniform for wash when I got back (I had appointed my mommy dearest to do that).I would wake my mum up at 3 in the morning to make a cup of tea to keep myself from dozing off during exam times).Pampered as I was at home,you can imagine the state of shock I transited into when I heard I was being sent away from home to study elsewhere.My scheming mind began to mastermind all kinds of plans to persuade my parents from refraining to commit such a sin.I tried emotional blackmail,faking sickness,promising to be an angel henceforth,enlightening them about the different ways in which my flight could be hijacked,hiding my ticket,delaying everything so that I'd miss my flight.I tried every trick under the sun.Nothing seemed to budge my family from their stand.After all the howling at the airport(mind you,none of my family members cried...its a different issue that they might have after they reached home...whether they did cry or not will always remain a mystery to me 'cos they still don't reveal it.But I like to think they did,So we'll leave it at that.)Everything happens for a reason (or so a friend of mine thinks...) and whatever that reason was,the truth was I was leaving on a jet plane to make my entry into the big,bad world(and I didn't know when I'd be back again!).You might think I would have given up on my plans to go back home,but my undeterred self wouldn't give up so easily.For the next 3 months,I'd call home and cry and throw a tantrum.In the meanwhile,I did make friends at school and kinda began to settle down (Though,I refused to admit it).I did miss my friends back home.Every letter/e-mail from them would have tears running down my cheeks.But time heals everything or so they say...(for those of you who might have any doubts,I did learn to polish my own shoes and remember to put my clothes for wash.And yes,I can make my own cup of tea now)

Six years down the line,here I am...Time for a bit of confession.Though I have never admitted it till now,I'm glad I got this experience of staying away from home.I've grown and matured as person since then(Atleast I think so).Ofcourse,I wouldn't have survived these years without my support system(my family and a bunch of 'bestest' friends !Hats off to you guys for having put up with all my whining and comforting me when I was homesick)I've learnt to appreciate my parents more for the 'lil' things that they've done (and keep doing) which were inconspicuous when I was staying with them,but their absence makes them glaringly conspicuous.Distance has brought me closer to my family.And ofcourse,I'm glad I came here cos I've made friends for life here!So I guess my friend is right...everything does happen for a reason afterall.

Page 3...what about the other pages?

Like many people out there,I too need the newspaper to accompany my morning tea.Tea minus the newspaper or vice versa leaves my morning incomplete.But the point is how many of us really read the front page or the pages that talk about the issues bothering our nation or other nations.Most of us directly skip to PAGE 3 - the page that talks about the lives of the high society socialites or the 'who's who' in other words.We are more interested in knowing which actor wore what to which party or if so and so came to the party with someone and left the party with someone else or who was the best-dressed and who was the worst dressed?Who wore which designer's creations?

What attracts us to the glamorous lives of these social butterflies?

Is it because we derive vicarious pleasure from their lifestyles?

Is it because we feel incomplete within ourselves?

Is it because we wish we were in their shoes?

Or is it because of the need to keep ourselves updated with the gossip lest we feel outta place at the next get together with friends which generally end up as gossip sessions?

I am not sure of the answers.Nor am I refuting the fact that once in a while it is fun to gossip about such things.(A recently conducted study found that gossip actually helps relieve stress).But what I do feel is that we must keep ourselves updated with other 'current affairs' too.How many of us actually read the editorials which sometimes bring out the really fine points which we would otherwise miss?How many of us are aware that a ship called 'Clemenceau' loaded with asbestos is coming to an Indian port for dismantling?How many of us are aware that the asbestos could endanger the lives of the workers involved in the dismantling procedure?Why is our country ready to bury the trash of another country in our grounds even though that would mean indirectly abetting to ignore the Basel convention of which India is a signatory.

I think,as the youth of today,it is upto us to voice our views on such subjects.Afterall,every drop of water adds to make the ocean what it is.We must all do what we can,what is within our reach.We must not refrain from making the 'little' difference that we can make...only then can we truly call ourselves dutiful countrymen of 'Incredible India'.

Lets 'make friendship' to remember

I have been thinking and brooding...musing and pondering abt what to write ...so I decided I would jus begin with something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.Its abt the sudden requests for friendship one keeps getting on these friend networks.Let me jus begin with an e.g
One Mr.X said...
"U Have An Incredible n impressive Personality, Ur Beauty is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.. have not got anything else to say because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it....
...Would Love 2 Knw more about U..would love to make friendship with u"

ok brace yourselves...there's more to come! I dont want all of you falling off your chairs laughing(being the non-violent person that I am,I wouldn't dream of inflicting such injuries upon anyone).

Coming back to the topic,could someone please explain to me "how do u 'make' friendship?" Is there a recipe for it like home-baked cookies?I'm not quite sure if one exists.

Also,I'd like to know why is that only guys keep sending such requests to girls and why not vice versa...Does it go on to prove that the guys are eternally jobless?They've nothing better to invest their time in except for sending messages to unknown girls?

On the positive side...hats off to their undeterred spirits!Some of them seem to follow the prinicple of "Never,Never,Never give up!"Inspite of being denied the privilege of 'making' friendship,they dont't lose heart but continue to send repeated requests until either
of the 2 things happen :-
1.The girl being chafed at the repeated requests either puts him on the ignore list or reports him as bogus
2.The girl who probably doesn't want to be more rude than she already has been adds him on but refrains from ever replying to his messages.

What these guys gain out of this fruitless endeavour...i fail to comprehend.

Moreover,some guys also claim to really be cool as one Mr.Y who sent the following message to a friend..

" hi.Ur really cool ,i am a cool guy too. i would love to meet u
sometime if we get well. though Ur a busy bee try to interact with me . don't ask much in net and make a big pain."

"get well?"-are both of them sick?!
"make pain?"- 'make' friendship...'make' pain...what next?!beats me...
And if this Mr.Y happens to be the cool guy he claims to be,then why exactly does he happen to send such trash to girls who would probably send them to their righteous place(obviously trash!) immediately...!

And ofcourse there is another Mr.Z who says :-
email me
my id: zzz@xyz.com
Conditions Apply:
* If committed don't reply
* Not interested don't reply
* Outside Chennai don't interact
hmm...imposing conditions on friendship too!Or is it the aftermath of too much programming with conditional if statements!And of course we must solemnly note the point from above that committed people are not capable of making friendships.(Mr.Z, I'm sure the committed people(pseudo singles too ;-) ) out there beg to differ...)

Another Mr.P (P for philosophical?) says :-

"when it comes to future goals and visions if u keep in mind that "GOD is your Source", i am telling...u look at the whole world in different picture or different view... its like this... some advice(help) from me... u might get married in the years to come.... but take my advice... dont u ever completely believe on uer husband.. or uer family members....its just that people
whom we trust all human beings..... human beings tend to make mistakes.. or disappoint us.. but trust in god ..u wont be disappointed... if u completely believe that God is your source, u have this idea in mind i am telling u... success will accompany u... it will overtake u... "

Ahem ahem,Mr.P seems to be offering a free counselling service.And by the way, Mr.P, if success is going to overtake me,does it imply I'm going to be unsuccessful?!A point to ponder...eh?
Another trend that has been noted is that these extremely cool,philosphical guys tend to copy-paste these messages and send them to lots of girls(Its a different issue that these girls probably happen to be the best of buddies and have a hearty laugh at these messages
when they have nothing better to do!)

But jokes apart,as my friend rightly replied to one of these messages asking what 'selection criteria' (pun intended) do these guys use while sending such messages?Have they ever heard that "Beauty is only skin deep"?
hmmm...What's that saying again...Boyz will be boyz?!

here i am...

Finally!After lot of coaxing n convincing from well-meaning friends...here i am in blogosphere!!At the risk of sounding cliched...i finally have my own space to give words to my endless ruminations for the world(ahem ahem..) to see.
The bundle of conflicting emotions that i am...so is the name of my blog...

so here begins...the intelligent prattle :-)